Unspoken

(song is Get Through by Mark Joseph, post prior to this one)

Julian didn’t know how it happened. It just did. When those blue eyes looked at him with that strange warm intensity, he knew that he was supposed to listen.

 

And I can chase away the fears

The ones you built up all these years

You don’t have to hide away

When you’re talkin’ to me…

 

They were all spectacular. Handsome, dark-haired Raven Woods had abandoned the keyboard to play a heartbreaking violin accompaniment. Sinclair Langdon strummed at the guitar with pure expertise. Corey Pearson smiled from where he stood playing the bass, and even Michael Collins was smiling a little behind the drums, head moving to the beats he struck.

But it was Clark who commanded all his attention—Clark at the microphone, with a guitar as well, standing less than a foot from him, singing without even taking his blue gaze from Julian’s brown eyes.

As though telling him he would never let go.

 

And we don’t have to change our dreams

It’s getting near, or so it seems

That will never change a thing

You’re talkin’ to me…

 

Julian turned away from Clark for an awkward moment, and—only human—glanced back. Those eyes had been too kind. He had been too used to the venom green that gazed to sharply at him that they cut skin. The sight of those eyes was something he longed for and loathed.

There was a reason that Julian sat staring out the window, lost in thoughts that had nothing to do with the script that lay in his hand forgotten.

There was a reason that everything and anything connected to his school—correction, his previous school—was now nowhere to be found on his person or anywhere else in his trailer.

There was a reason that Clark reached out to touch his shoulder, as though to rouse him from the bleakness, coaxing him back to life with his gentleness.

And there was a reason Julian looked up into Clark’s eyes and found relief in the blue eyes that seemed as though he could trust them, clutching back onto that lifeline.

 

But I’m feelin’ stronger now

I’m feelin’ stronger now…

 

And then the angel smiled.

And Julian, whose gaze now did not break from Clark’s own, smiled faintly back, almost a smirk, as he leaned forward to that same microphone, and joined his voice to Clark’s, the music rising with them.

 

‘Cause livin’ in the Summer is easy

And it’s livin’ in the Winter that’s hard

But we’ll get through…

 

The boys of Haven smirked at each other as they continued to play, bodies moving to the music somewhat as they played. Clark smirked a little back at Julian as he strummed the guitar, nodding to him a little, urging Julian to lift his voice.

To purge the apathy.

To flood him with light.

He was determined to flush the pain away from Julian with music.

 

And I can fade away the days

The ones you’re feeling out of place

Promises are all I make

But still you believe…

 

Julian looked at Clark unwaveringly, always asking that silent question that no one in Tinsel Town could ever claim to have received a truly honest answer to.

Can I trust you…?  Those brown eyes, burnished to gold by the lights overhead, seemed to ask.

Can he trust the boy who stood outside his trailer long after his staff had given up, and managed to coax him to eat or go out…or smile?

Can he trust the boy who let him sleep on the couch in his trailer, never saying a word and simply pulling the blanket warm over his shoulders?

Can he trust the boy who, unlike everyone else, only smiled and pulled him close when he told them that he was not coming back to school?

Julian’s eyes searched Clark for an answer, as their voices sang words that they both were yet to learn how to say directly to each other.

 

Well, it’s not how it’s supposed to be

I’m running out of faith, I see

Should have done things differently

But still you believe…

 

Clark’s eyes seemed to smile at him without having to explain anything. Maybe they had always known. Maybe they had just chosen to pretend it wasn’t there. Because it was easier that way—because they could go on that way—because it would hurt less that way, if they were wrong. It was so easy to be wrong. It was so frightening to take a chance to see if you’re right.

When you tell a wish, it doesn’t come true.

Does it, though, if you sing it?

I need you.

I want to protect you.

I’m here now.

I’m with you now.

Can they say it out loud one day?

 

And I’m feelin’ stronger now

I’m feelin’ stronger now…

 

Their voices rose, with a sympathy to each other that compelled even the rest of the band to smile and sing, the music spiraling upward with each beat of the drum, and a strike of the strings.

 

‘Cause livin’ in the Summer is easy

And it’s livin’ in the Winter that’s hard

But we’ll get through…

 

Hey, hey, yeah!

 

Music was a universal language; it said things that other people couldn’t say easily. It compelled thoughts, evoked emotions, and brought epiphanies forward. Sometimes it simply called to two different people and pulled them together to listen—especially when it mattered the most.

Clark’s eyes never left Julian. They seemed to answer that unspoken that unspoken question that Julian needed to ask. His answer was clear, like his eyes.

I’m here. I’ve got you.

 

And I’m feelin’ stronger now

I’m feelin’ stronger now…

 

Julian’s eyes softened when Clark’s hand brushed his. Fleeting warmth.

Clark gazed intently, leaning closer to the microphone, closer to Julian.

Blue eyes seemed to say:

And I’m not letting you go.

 

‘Cause livin’ in the Summer is easy

And it’s livin’ in the Winter that’s hard

But we’ll get through…

 

The music poured forth in rich harmonies, laced flawlessly by Raven at the violin.  The band grinned as they sang, reveling in their own harmony.

Julian and Clark smiled at each other as they sang at the microphone, closer than ever before, the band behind them moving to the music as their smiles seemed to laugh without having to make the sound.

The music said everything for them.

 

‘Cause livin’ in the Summer is easy

And it’s livin’ in the Winter that’s hard

But we’ll get through.

 

Hey, hey!

And, oh, but we’ll get through!

 

Julian smirked a little at the taller boy, who now broadened his smile at that familiar look in Julian’s eyes. One that challenged the recipient, one that held so much pride, one that he had grown accustomed to in Julian’s best days.

Clark could only smile as he felt the old Julian begin to return. He didn’t want to assume it was his doing. But he could hope it was. He could wish.

Maybe one day—maybe even today—they could both say the words right; the words that were merely formality when they both knew what the other had to say.

 

Hey, now!

Come on, come on!

We’ll get through!

 

Na, na, na, na…

 

But for now, Clark said nothing as he felt Julian’s fingers absently catch his own as they sang. And Haven, if they saw, didn’t say anything either.